1. |
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Learning to Live Without You
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
There must be some advantage to
living without you;
some kind of compensation for the
pain of missing you.
They say that I’ll recover -
they say that people do.
But I’m not them and they’re not you,
so how can I believe it’s true?
The more I think about it,
the more I think of you.
So I go online, I choose a few,
but their faces are not you.
I drink some wine, I take a hike,
talk on the phone, see if you’re home.
I read a book, I try to cook,
I write a song, I try to be strong.
I’m learning to live without you.
I’m learning to live without you.
I can walk around naked
without any makeup.
I can have all the covers,
I can take on a lover.
I can cry when I want to,
I can dance like I once did,
but there’s one thing I can’t do:
I can’t seem to learn to live
without you.
There’s a place beside me
where you used to sleep.
There’s a space inside me
where you used to be.
I watch the moon so pretty,
I watch it on my own.
Driving through the city,
I can’t seem to find my way
all alone.
But I’m learning to live without you.
I’m learning to live without you.
I’m learning to live without you.
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2. |
Wild One
03:27
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Wild One
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2007)
Wild One,
caught in the streetlight,
safe in my arms,
you don’t know where you’re going,
you won’t say where you’re from.
Am I supposed to tame you
or are you here to save me?
Are our lives intertwined just to
hold a mirror to each other’s eyes, -
with the same lessons in life?
We could heal each other’s pain -
hold on till the sun comes up again.
You see I think we’re both confused
who to trust and what we’ll lose,
Wild One.
Am I supposed to tame you
or are you here to save me?
Are our lives intertwined just to
hold a mirror to each other’s eyes, -
with the same lessons in life?
I see ghosts and premonitions
walking hand in hand.
How can there be such contradictions
in my life and in my head,
Wild One?
Am I supposed to tame you
or are you here to save me?
Are our lives intertwined just to
hold a mirror to each other’s eyes?
Or was I right from the start -
that you would take and break my heart,
leave me lonely, leave me alone
in this empty, empty home?
Or was I right from the start -
that you would take and break my heart,
leave me lonely, leave me alone
in this empty, empty home?
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3. |
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I Should Have Saved Myself
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 1992)
The first time that I saw you
your eyes told a story.
Your smile was full of pain
and I wanted you to stay.
I tried to be near you.
After all these years
I thought that you would hear me.
But the candle you burn in my heart
is wax that keeps falling,
and I hold on to the pain
just to be near you.
Slip away, before I give it all again -
slip away.
Slip away, before I give it all again -
slip away.
I hold on to the pain just to be near you.
Is there a reason
you came into my life?
That you should have taught me
humility, there is no doubt.
But I was slow to learn,
slow to learn,
and my heart still burns for you tonight.
Slip away, before I give it all again -
slip away.
Slip away, before I give it all again -
slip away.
I hold on to the pain just to be near you.
I should have saved myself -
saved myself,
before I tried to rescue you
into my life;
saved myself, saved myself -
before I tried to rescue you
into my life.
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4. |
Craig's List
02:35
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Craig's List
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
Dear Craig,
Thank you for the list.
I must admit at first I thought of everyone I’d kiss!
There was the artist, and frugal Martin, and everyone that I dissed -
so many emails, so exciting - a whole new world, so inviting!
Dear Craig,
Thank you for the list.
You gave me hope when I had none -
I thought I was dismissed.
Lots of photos, lots of typos - why can’t we even spell?
And why does it take so long to make the transition to the phone?
Behind the profile we can be the person of their dreams;
post a photo ten years old and maybe we will fit their mould!
Dear Craig,
Thank you for the list.
You gave me hope when I had none -
I thought I was dismissed.
And now and then there is the one who makes it seem worthwhile.
We even talk and meet, and swap the details of our lives!
But then he emails less and less - did I misread something he said?
I check the saved ones to be sure, but I’m no wiser than before.
Dear Craig,
Thank you for the list.
You gave me hope when I had none -
I thought I was dismissed.
Dear Craig,
PS. Who are you?
Are you single?
Do you get my gist?
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5. |
Never Trust a Gemini
02:14
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Never trust a Gemini
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
You carry your cat to bed;
you’ve beautiful things in your head.
Your eyes are the colour of the woods,
where no-one has spoken or stood.
And I will never trust a Gemini -
I will never trust a Gemini again.
You give and you take it away -
you make me a fool every day.
I’m stupid - I don’t understand
the warmth in the touch of your hand.
And I will never trust a Gemini -
I will never trust a Gemini again.
I have your hands in my memory -
the same hands that paint with poetry.
I see your creations in every tree;
I see your door closing in front of me.
And I will never trust a Gemini -
I will never trust a Gemini again,
Gemini, Gemini, Gemini…
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6. |
Garden of Remembrance
02:51
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Garden of Remembrance/Nine-Eleven
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
In the garden of remembrance
we sat down and thought about
those final hours and what it is
that we all share:
the same God,
or the same fear.
In the garden of remembrance
those left behind cling to their grief,
or feel the guilt of being alive,
bathed in sunlight -
as it is now,
as it was before.
There’s nothing sacred, nothing holy in the aftermath -
the twisting of the truth, twisting of steel, beauty and youth:
no holy war, no sacrifice.
In the garden of remembrance
we sang songs into the night
in candlelight, sorrow and pride.
And we all shared
the same God,
the same fear.
There’s nothing sacred, nothing holy in the aftermath -
the twisting of the truth, twisting of steel, beauty and youth:
no holy war, no sacrifice;
no holy war, no sacrifice …
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7. |
Crazy
03:03
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Crazy
(words by Nicolette Aubourg except quote from "The Serenity Prayer"; music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
I’m sorry that I was crazy;
I promised I would change.
It must have been hard to never know
if I would stay or go.
I miss you in the morning,
I miss you every day.
I wish that I could have been the one
to make your life ok.
But I’m like a fish that is floundering, -
swimming up and down against the wake.
Can’t you see that I’m as lost as you;
can’t you see I need forgiveness too?
I’m sorry that I hurt you.
I wish you knew how much it hurt me too.
If I was older, younger, wiser,
I’d have known what to do.
But I’m like a fish that is floundering -
swimming up and down against the wake.
Can’t you see that I’m as lost as you;
can’t you see I need forgiveness too?
So “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
grant me the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference…”*
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8. |
Gratefully
02:59
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Gratefully
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2003)
I’m changed forever,
I’m helpless:
I saw the sweet surrender
in your final breath.
Take away my weakness
with your newfound strength.
Take away my sadness
with your peacefulness.
And in time, if I let go,
forgive me if I stop to grieve.
You know that there will always be
a part of you inside me.
I’m changed forever -
I’m changed forever,
gratefully.
I need a sign from you -
something that I can feel.
I need a hundred reasons
this was meant to be.
And in time, if I let go,
forgive me if I stop to grieve.
You know that there will always be
a part of you inside me.
I’m changed forever -
I’m changed forever,
gratefully, gratefully, gratefully.
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9. |
Ode to a Dog
01:50
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Ode to a Dog
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
If I could learn from you - your smiling face,
If I could learn from you - your simple grace,
If I could learn from you,
I’d be renewed.
If I could learn from you – priorities:
play hard, sleep long, don’t bear a grudge
no matter how you’re wronged -
I’d be at peace.
“Give more than you take,
accept with grace,
appreciate anything at all”:
words of wisdom from the mind of a dog.
If I could learn from you - trust everyone;
don’t see their faults, don’t be their judge.
Be their best friend
to the very end.
“Give more than you take,
accept with grace,
appreciate anything at all”:
words of wisdom from the mind of a dog.
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10. |
Caught in your Flame
01:52
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Caught in your Flame
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
I wish that you would hold me all night long.
I wish the words you told me would make me strong.
But I am only human, and I go on
thinking you will want me, as time goes on.
You think I’m the same but you don’t know how much I’ve changed.
Like a bird caught in your flame, I will never be the same.
I wish that you could see me for who I am.
I wish that you could be me, and understand
the tides of emotion that bring me back,
every time I’m leaving - every time I heal.
You think I’m the same but you don’t know how much I’ve changed.
Like a bird caught in your flame, I will never be the same.
I want to be alone again without the loneliness;
I want to be whole again without the broken heart.
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11. |
You Don't Care
02:40
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You Don't Care
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2005)
You make me question everything I thought I was,
I thought I knew.
I’m drowning on the waves of you that make me feel
so abused.
And even if I could defend myself to you,
it would not change the fact that you don’t care.
And even if I gain a little self-respect,
it does not change the fact that you don’t care.
I have no power to change you past, your pain,
your sadness, your cold heart,
and it makes me feel so helpless, -
like a song without a start.
And even if I could defend myself to you,
it would not change the fact that you don’t care.
And even if I gain a little self-respect,
it does not change the fact that you don’t care.
But I won’t abandon you; I won’t put out your flame.
I’ll find a place that I can’t reach, - high on a shelf,
to store the pain.
And even if I could defend myself to you,
it would not change the fact that you don’t care.
And even if I gain a little self-respect,
it does not change the fact that you don’t care.
Don’t treat me this way anymore.
I’m here with a heart that has a door.
You know the way in, -
open the door
if you want more.
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12. |
Cloths of Heaven
02:17
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Cloths of Heaven
(words by W. B. Yeats, music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2006)
“Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
Tread softly,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams…
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13. |
City of Angels
03:02
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City of Angels
(words & music by Nicolette Aubourg ©2005)
The ghosts of the hills hang their misty breath
on trees that wait for rain.
Red-tailed hawks bear the cry of idols
long since gone, -
now immortalized
in digital.
Desolate, spectacular,
ominous, promising:
land of plenty,
plenty of pain.
A place called the City of Angels;
a place called the City of Angels, -
waiting, waiting for rain.
The mystery of the hills as they wind within
the secrets of the minds of that dwell therein,
will deepen still, deepen still.
And the trees that brace the desert sun
forget their roots that began in different lands,
and call this their home.
A place called the City of Angels;
a place called the City of Angels, -
waiting, waiting for rain.
Some are forsaken, forgotten, forgiven here.
Some are the lost souls watching through a coyote’s eyes -
waiting, waiting for rain;
waiting, waiting for rain.
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14. |
To the Moon
01:08
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To the Moon
(words by Percy Bysshe Shelley, music by Nicolette Aubourg © 2006)
“Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
Among the stars
That have a different birth, -
And ever changing, like a joyless eye
That finds no object worth its constancy?”*
…Wandering companionless
Among the stars
That have a different birth,
Companionless
Among the stars
That have a different birth …
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Nicolette Aubourg Los Angeles, California
#CEASEFIRENOW! Singer-guitarist Nicolette Aubourg was born in South Africa where she studied music and received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and English Literature before moving to Los Angeles. Nicolette has released three studio albums and nine singles. Her songwriting covers a variety of subjects including social justice and she has won many songwriting awards. ... more
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